To define someone's personality, we commonly use the words introvert and extrovert, pertaining to where one get's there source of energy. Of course, the introvert builds energy from withdrawing and having precious alone time, while the extrovert gains energy by conversation and relationships. There is no superior option of the two, and generally all people would agree that both people time and alone time is necessary to a certain degree. In other words, introverts can still love to be around people, and extroverts can still love time alone to think. The issue that divides them, however, is how they gain energy.
Well with this you may begin to analyze your one self and try to decide from where you get your energy, and you're not alone if you have. I've been an introvert my whole life. Part of this I do believe is the way that God on high has wired me, according to the plan He has for my life and the spiritual gifts He intends to bless me with. But much of it has also developed, by me, over time due to experience and environment. As a small child, I enjoyed it when my parents sent me to my room when I was in trouble, because that meant that I could go play with my toys. I loved to build things out of Legos, and when I did I was creator and the boss, and could do things my own way. After moving to a large public school in the 3rd grade, that individualistic personality began to really flourish as I was excluded from the cliques of the popular kids at lunch tables and recess, and was usually left to play by myself in the sand. I can still name all the real friends I had 3rd- 7th grade on one hand, and that drove me deep into introversion. I've never been good in social settings since, and this is largely why. Even though I began to make friends in high school, those wounds have never healed.
And so I would typically be classified as an introvert, and I can maintain that- I'm the kind of guy that could, if given the opportunity, sit down and play a video game for 10 hours. And I have. I could watch multiple movies in the dark all by myself. I prefer working alone rather than in groups, at least if my primary objective is to work quickly. And I love sitting with a friend but not saying anything at all. In short, man-to-man relationship does not drive my life.
On the flip side, I struggle greatly in large group settings. I have a small personality, and that very easily is drowned out by big personalities. I find myself worn out after spending large amounts of time with people, and am often intimidated by certain character types. I find myself "making myself" hang out with people. (Not that I don't enjoy it, but there are several times where I must work hard, and I very commonly label this as selfishness.)
Recharging for me used to be doing what I want to do, meaning watching a movie, surfing the web, lounging and listening to music, etc. But there has been a major shift in my personality since I have began really following Christ (I usually place that shift during fall of 2009). I used call myself an introvert. But now I realize that I am neither an introvert nor extrovert.
I have found that the singular source of all my energy comes directly from God in heaven, and any other source of energy merely amounts to frustration. I used to be able to spend an hour on the internet and be okay with it. But now I can't live with myself. The place where I have discovered true, complete regeneration is not in the hands of people, or me, but in the union, favor, and presence of the Lord Jesus. This year, scripture has come alive to me like never before, prayer has become a privilege, and worship has become a true celebration to me. I'll spend up to 6 hours in one day doing a combination of reading my Bible, thinking and meditating on the Lord, enjoying Him, treasuring Him and listening to others who feel the same through the way of podcast. Whether that's in a quiet place in my room or in a food court, it's all the same- when I'm dwelling completely on my Lord, I find my only sense of home. I've dispensed with the "quiet time" label and just made it an all-day endeavor.
Therefore, I can't stand to have time to myself anymore. Time spent without the authority of a holy God is always a waste. This seems like an incredibly bold statement to make, because we begin to think of all the ways that we are guilty of violating this already today, if not in the last hour. I'm guilty of it today, and I confess that before you and the Lord. But something in me tells me this is true, and not only true, but possible to live out. One might tell me, "well you can't always be thinking about God, always be in prayer, always be serving. You need to take a break every once and a while." Yes you need to take a break, if God alone is not your source of energy. We make it sound like making much of Christ consumes our energy, and it can, but I'd argue that even all of our rest should be done under the authority of the cross, that being satisfied in Christ should be central even in our down time.
I did something new last fall and started to really observe the Sabbath. After Brian Sturm mentioned it at a Life Group leader meeting, I decided to take it more seriously. I committed to consecrating Sundays by withdrawing and spending my time a variety of ways, that could include taking a nap, watching a sermon, reading a God-centered book, reading scripture, journaling, or spending intention time with one friend. I stayed away from schoolwork if possible, computer and any other forms of entertainment. It was a discipline, but I soon found it to be not only easy but incredibly refreshing and entirely important. I soon started to wonder: What would my life look like if I cut out the crap, and made every moment about the glory of our LORD?
This is the opposite of waste. Since then, I feel uneasy about doing so many of the things I used to love: watching movies or TV by myself, web-surfing for pleasure, listening to man-centered music, etc. I hope you're not thinking, oh no, Chris Presnell is here telling me that all those things are sinful and we should stop all together. Please don't see me as try to tear down and incorrectly judge, but rather my goal is to build up the church and possibly restore it to great joy and glory.
Here's the deal, guys: we sit around the TV way too much, even together. There are times and places for enjoying each other by laughing together and watching a great movie, but think about our lives if whenever a group of sold-out believers got together, we spent an hour in prayer, watched a sermon and talked about it, spoke into each other's lives, or even went out an made an impact in our fallen world! Imagine the satisfaction we'd have, the peace we'd have with our father, and the sheer power of that determinism! And that was the spirit behind Party of the Galaxy last Thurday- to make much of the name of Jesus.
Because haven't the best times of your life when you just knew with all of your heart and being, that you were doing the will of God? The motto of John Piper and Christian hedonism, which I adhere to my own life is that
Christ is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
If Jesus was with us in body, how would we spend our free time together? I urge every brother and sister reading this, we were made for more than spending fun time with each other. We were made to be a church, a body, a unit, and a powerful unit at that. I feel like we're great at being good friends to each other for the most part. We spend a lot of time with each other. And there are great things that go on among us for the kingdom, but just imagine if instead of watching a movies together, we did something of eternal value!
Here's deal- I don't want to get to heaven and imagine all that could have been done for the Kingdom of God when I instead chose to satisfy myself. And this does mean overcoming my own introversion. Man-centered ideology would say, "Well that's who are you are! You can't and shouldn't change it." No. I believe that are good things about being highly contemplative, reserved, and a listener. But I absolutely need to overcome this way of letting me decide how I spend my time, if I spend my free time the way I want to, it would surely destroy both my faith and me. I have to work hard to overcome my selfishness and be bold in the world. Just because I love spending time to "myself", doesn't mean it i don't need to commit myself to building up the church and making Christ's name known among all peoples. That's the problem. People leave spreading the name of Christ to people that are "comfortable" with that. That is a sin. All believers are called to be bold in the face of a rebellious culture and make much of the name of Christ, no matter your personality. And that goes for me too.
I don't want to waste my life! How rich of a life that would be, to know at the end of each day that you spent every minute of that day glorifying a kingdom that lasts! Friends, I urge you to assess how you spend your time-
How does what you're doing show that you treasure the name of Christ?
Ask yourself this throughout your days. Don't hear me saying you can't do things that don't directly and verbally say the glory of Christ, because again its all a heart issue. However, watching a movie is not fellowship. And I bring this up because I wasted so much of today and hate myself for it. I pray that we accept God's leading to make excellent use of all of our time here on earth.
